MARK

I met Mark doing stand up around town. One night I went to his place in Thousand Oaks to hang out with him and his roommates. They told me a story. The night before Mark and one of his roommates had been chatting with some chick online. The talk soon turned sexual. She offered herself to them that night, with two minor provisos: ONE: They had to pick her up and drop her off from her house in Redondo Beach. TWO: Muscular dystrophy had confined her to a wheelchair. Naturally, Mark and his roommate were horrified by the prospect of driving to Redondo twice in one night, but free pussy tends to light a fire under men's asses.

About forty-five minutes later they got to her house. Now I'm a "different strokes for different folks" kind of guy, but I gotta pass judgment on any mother who lets her nineteen year-old disabled daughter vanish into the night off with two, male strangers, asking only if they had time to fetch her pizza from Poppa John's before they left.

Cut to two, three hours later. Mark has done the unthinkable. He tells his housemate Darrin to have at the leftovers while he steps out for smokes. Darrin does. But before they got down to business the young lady announced her need to use the restroom. Darrin, unfamiliar with the etiquette of casual sex with crippled strangers inquires, "Do you need me to carry you?" She goes, "No, I'm fine," then drops to the floor and ARMY crawls her nude body across the carpet, legs bouncing behind her like lottery balls. A little while later the third roommate, oblivious to the evening's proceedings, comes home. Seeing the bedroom door shut and something strange parked next to it, he shouts, "Did you guys steal a wheelchair?!"

At this point in the story Ed, the third roommate, registered my contempt. He goes, "Yeah bro, that shit was wrong, that's why even though I could have fucked her after Darrin I didn't - I just made out with her."