Let me tell you a little about myself. I was born and raised in South Florida amidst pandemic immigration and legions of White Trash. From an early age I read voraciously, consuming every thing from R.L. Stevenson to Stephen King. Despite being moderately intelligent, I did poorly academically for several reasons: 1) constant sexual fantasizing 2) contact lethargy from being surrounded by illiterate idiots 3) because I am mentally retarded when it comes to mathematics of any kind. After high school, like most of my peers, I languished in community college for four years before it dawned on me that I was destined for a brighter future than a career in telemarketing and a room in my parent's garage. I had grown tired of wasting away in Margaritaville and decided to pursue post-secondary education at the University of Central Florida in Orlando.
In 1999, I began my courtship with stand-up comedy. That same year I began writing a weekly opinion column for the Central Florida Future. I displayed aptitude in both arenas and immersed myself in them to the point of obsession. All at once it became perfectly clear to me that I had found my purpose in life.
After two long years I have adjoined these two divergent paths and I could not be happier with the outcome. So without further ado, I give you the first installment of Literary Laughs. If you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, the kindest compliment you can pay me is to tell your friends.
Sincerely,
Christopher Z.
P.S. Check in with me once a month or so, I intend to amend the menu as frequently as I can complete new pieces. Rest assured that I am working on new material as you read
this.
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